He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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