I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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