you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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