i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
