I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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