so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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