Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
