did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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