I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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