you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
