i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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