and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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