I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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