i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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