He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
