Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
