You're completely useless in the revolution.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
