Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
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Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
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What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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