I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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