I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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