youre lurking in front of me
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Randomize
