Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
