the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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