Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize