R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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