She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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