i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
