Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He passed out mid-signature
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
