I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize