Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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