i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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