I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
