i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It was confusing and full of hummus
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
