Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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