Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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