Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
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I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
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Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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