Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
