More tranny stories later!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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