in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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