so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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