I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
