I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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