He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
