We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
