We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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