quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
