I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
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