Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
