I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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