I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
