OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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