The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you will always have a special place in my vag
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
