walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
