what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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