Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
