if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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