Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You ate ashes out of my bong
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
