Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
