Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize