take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
